Do you skip the first day of class, walk in a week later, interrupt the instructor to ask if adds are accepted, sit in class the rest of the day, then never show up again? Don’t be that guy.
Do you purposefully leave the ringer on in class so you can show off the best ringtone ever? Don’t be that guy.
Do you indicate in the syllabus and reiterate every chance you get, “No late assignments!” then halfway through the quarter you accept late assignments or offer extra credit to make up for those assignments? Don’t be that instructor.
Do you add classes, pay your fees and buy books a month in advance; then drop your classes, get a refund and return your books two days before the quarter starts? Don’t be that guy.
Do you monopolize every class with your brilliant, witty observations, never giving other students a chance to talk? Don’t be that guy.
Do you tell students to break up into groups -- but not the same groups as last time -- notice that the students are in the same groups as last time, not do a thing about it, then repeat the process over and over? Don’t be that instructor.
Do you flaunt your perfectly toned legs in class using a lame excuse like, “It’s ninety degrees outside,” making it hard for others to concentrate on schoolwork? Don’t be that ... well that’s not so bad.
Do you rip a silent but deadly and blame it on the person next to you? Don’t be that girl.
Do you finish your business in the bathroom, run water to pretend to wash your hands, but don’t even bother to grab towels to pretend to dry hands? Don’t be the guy to shake that guy’s hand.
Do you change where you sit five weeks into the quarter, disrupting the “assumed reserved” seating protocol; causing confusion in your area, causing a butterfly to flap it’s wings, causing a monsoon off the coast of Japan? Don’t cause monsoons off the coast of Japan.
Do you cruise the parking lot blasting music from your homeland, but have no idea what the song is about? Don’t be that guy.
Do you wear sunglasses in class? Don’t. Just don’t.
Do you check the toilet seat with your hand to make sure you’re not sitting on someone’s residual butt heat? I do.
Did you command the respect of all your underlings ... until you declared “Friends” as the greatest TV show ever and admitted to watching the “Sex and the City” movie? Don’t be that Insider Magazine publisher.

5 TIPS TO HELP YOU NOT STUDY

by Edna Chan

BE A COUCH POTATO

Your productivity in front of the TV is comparable to that of a rock. If you plop down on the couch, your day of studying is over. Emailing your classmates about a project is less important than texting your vote in for American Idol.

BABYSIT

Your book is in front of you the whole time, but that little girl running with scissors steals your focus. Seriously, toddlers need your undivided attention. Maybe sticking some index cards on the toddler’s rear end might squeeze you some studying time while you chase her down the halls.

ORGANIZE YOUR SOCK DRAWER

When you sit down and prepare to battle against your books, don’t take a look around. All of a sudden, you may become a neat freak seeing the unwashed bowl in the sink, the messy blanket on the bed and the desk dying to be tidied up. Just say no. Look at your books, instead.

KEEP FIREFOX OPEN

You know those bookmarks in the toolbar? If you check out what’s new in those pages, you’re a goner. You’ll never run out of Internet. Your online quiz for class can always wait -- leaving comments on your friend’s Myspace or Facebook page cannot.

STUDY ON YOUR BED

Don’t we all have the experience of deciding to study enthusiastically on the bed. It just doesn’t work. Trust us, we’ve tried it. Imagine if we laid out this magazine in our beds. That’s why we didn’t sleep this summer for your benefit. You’re welcome.